Many times I have questioned why I decided to undertake a doctorate, and why I continue to do it every day (or struggle to do it every day as the case may be). Is it simply because I thought it was a good idea at the time and now it’s too late to quit? Or is it still something I want to do because it still means something to me? These are questions I mull over day in, day out, and I know I am not alone. It seems to be a common cause of procrastination – feeling inadequate, or like a fraud. I recently came across this lovely little diagram (probably on Facebook while procrastinating) about how you can determine what your purpose in life is. and it helped me understand why I am still pushing ahead in my studies despite the devil on my shoulder whispering thoughts to the contrary.
I love films, television and all kinds of media. I love teaching and sharing knowledge, I love making films and other creative works, and I love reading and researching. So if I put these activities into the diagram then teaching is my profession (because I get paid to do it and I’ve been told I am good at it), researching is my vocation (because I will hopefully get paid for it in the future and I like to hope the world needs it), writing and producing is my mission (because I love it and hope the world needs/wants to see it), and film and television is my passion (because I love it and am great at watching it)! At the moment I am doing all these things as part of my doctorate, so I get you could say it is a ‘purposeful’ activity!According to this diagram my research project into the diversification of cultural expression through digital media and participatory culture sits within the central ‘purpose’.
Now I just have to believe in myself and push forward. I still aim to have it submitted by June/July. This gives me around 3 months to really knuckle down and smash it out. I just have to get this little devil off my shoulder first!